Kudirat The Unwilling Bride

By Mary Odiong

Here comes an unusual story of a poor Muslim girl from Kano State, her name is Kudirat. Her background is core Islam, but having had a little exposure even before her university education, she became a liberal Muslim. She was naturally keen on Christian guys and have been dating only Christians since she was 19. 

She attended Lagos State University and upon graduation, was sent to Delta State for her NYSC. She performed her primary assignments to the admiration of many and this attracted many friends to her compared to other Corp members.

Early this year, when we first experienced the COVID-19 outbreak, she, just like others returned home to her family. Upon her arrival in Kano, her parents told her that she was to get married the following week. Kudirat frowned at their decision and told them that she was not ready for marriage and moreover, she will be the one to choose whoever she wants to marry and not they making the choice for her. She hinged her reasons and arguments on love and mutual connection.

After all said and done, her would-be husband was introduced to her; an elderly man who was nearly the age of her father. She was not happy. Openly, she told her mother that she  doesn't love the man. In reply, her mother said "there is nothing like love, marriage is not built on love, it is a natural institution/union and you have to accept it"

Kudirat was "forced" literally to marry the man and they moved in together. Sexual intimacy was always a problem, there was no mutual connection between Kudirat and her husband. This explains why they always struggled to make out, something that would have been a good deal if there was that mutual connect between them. 

On many occasions, she had reached out to her parents but would get nothing in reply other than "the marital home is to be managed, stay with him, you will get used to him with time". 

Months after, she took-in and   she is presently planning to abort the pregnancy in order to go complete her service year. She has told her husband the plans but he is totally not in support of it. 

That is the present situation of Kudirat now. She is stuck in the middle of nowhere , she needs help, but she is not getting this from her family. She is tired of everything, she may hurt herself if care is not taken and on time too. 

It is possible that she is reading this story, the story of her life.

What advice do you have for her.?

Is love everything in marriage?

Can there be a successful marriage without love? 

Can you marry someone you don't love? 

Let me hear from you.