As broken homes continue to be a prevalent issue in Nigeria, residents of Abuja have expressed mixed opinions on what causes more harm to marriages: poverty or having a bad spouse. In a series of interviews conducted by the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Monday, individuals shared contrasting views on the matter, highlighting the complexity of the issue.
Marian Waluwe, a civil servant, argued that the presence of a bad spouse is more destructive to marriages than poverty. She pointed to examples of financially struggling couples who remain happy due to mutual support and effort.
“Essential needs like food, water, and housing affect marriages, but I know poor couples who work hard and stay committed to each other,” Waluwe said. “It’s not about wealth; it’s about character and effort.”
For Waluwe, while poverty brings challenges, it is a bad spouse who can truly break a marriage by neglecting emotional and moral responsibilities.
On the other hand, Damian Jari, a trader, emphasized the importance of financial stability as the foundation of a healthy marriage. He suggested that many marital problems stem from the inability to meet financial obligations, which can strain relationships.
“No one should enter marriage without financial stability,” Jari stated. “Most family problems arise when couples can’t afford to meet their basic needs. Love is important, but money keeps things running smoothly.”
Echoing Jari’s sentiments, Francis Idah, another trader, insisted that poverty is a greater factor in breaking homes. According to him, the financial strain that comes with poverty can lead to frustration, particularly for men, making it difficult for them to maintain stable relationships.
“When there’s poverty, nothing works in the home, especially if the man is poor,” Idah remarked. “Women may start losing patience if they feel their partner isn’t able to provide, which can lead to conflict and ultimately a broken home.”
However, some residents believe the issue goes beyond financial considerations. Ekemini Otong, a surveyor, argued that a toxic spouse can destroy a home faster than poverty ever could. She highlighted the emotional damage that comes with abusive or manipulative behavior, which, according to her, is far more detrimental than financial hardship.
“An abusive partner can cause emotional damage, loss of confidence, and trust. These are things that are very difficult to repair,” Otong explained. “Poverty can be addressed over time, but the emotional scars from a toxic relationship can last forever.”
Otong emphasized that while money is important, the real foundation of a successful marriage is mutual respect, kindness, and understanding. “Even if you have all the money in the world, if your partner is toxic, the marriage will crumble.”