First off, I have an open relationship in my marriage.
Now before you squeeze your face and judge me just know that it’s more common than you imagine even here in Nigeria.
My husband and I enjoy other people’s company in our sex lives, no big deal.
The second thing I will say here is this, I am bisexual and this won’t be the first time I have been in a threesome, let’s face it, these things happen more than we care to admit around here; I have been in a foursome arrangement…you know. Even orgies happen around here, though I haven’t been in one…you can remain wide-eyed and be acting innocent, for all I care. I am an adult and I make no excuses.
So we met this young teacher, Lee, who was our son’s class teacher in primary school; I was attracted to her and so I befriended her; she was also attracted to me and along the line, I invited her to give our son extra lessons at home.
I had told my husband about her…you know.
We are open about our feelings for other people and often invite them over to our place. You know. Dee, my husband, came home early one day and checked her out; he liked her and told me to find out if she was open to the idea of a threesome.
She was, super!
So we developed a sort of relationship from there; she and I first… because my husband was most often not available. Lee and I shared the same interests in books, movies, art…we had sex a few times before my husband joined us.
Now it’s important that you understand that in this kind of arrangement, every partner needs to be clean, you know. Before Dee and I got married, we really didn’t care who we had this sort of thing with but when you start having kids, you want to be careful, you know. Because we’ve got to be responsible, you know, make responsible choices as to who you sleep with. When I asked Lee, if she was in any relationship prior to our meet, she had a girlfriend who was out of the country then. So, that kind of helped Dee and I relax and decide, Lee was a good choice after all, we didn’t want a jealous boyfriend/girlfriend or one she was having unprotected sex with…
We had romps for about 18 months I think and everything was really cool until Lee called me one day to say she was pregnant for us…my husband being the only one she had unprotected sex with the past few months!
I was upset!
I mean, this is all shades of wrong!
“You better go get rid of it,” I told her. I mean, how did she even get pregnant?
Yeah I know my husband has had sex with her several times in my presence but he always wore a condom and on the few occasions he didn’t, he pulled out! So what the hell was all this about pregnancy?
Well, Lee told me she couldn’t remove the pregnancy because she had done a few while in school and she didn’t want to endanger her life!
We didn’t want an extra baby otherwise I would be the one getting pregnant, not Lee!
Then things got worse, Lee’s boss, the school’s principal began threatening to fire her because she was pregnant and unmarried. The school being a private school; teachers were supposed to me ‘married’ to have babies.
That’s the most backward thing I have ever heard! What’s the school’s business with her pregnancy? So if she was a man and got some girl pregnant, he could still be teaching at the school and won’t be fired but because she is female… it became a problem for the school!
It was all so messed up! She wasn’t meant to get pregnant, she wasn’t meant to become a burden to us…it meant we had be the ones to take care of her, since was going to lose her job you know, it was all so messy!
What did Dee say?
He just asked for a DNA.
But before then, we invited Lee to a talk, we wanted to see if indeed, we were responsible for her pregnancy because I got a theory, maybe, even if the pregnancy was ours, I wondered maybe my husband was having sex with her behind my back!
That would be him cheating on me!
That is another thing, that is a big blow to our marriage because we were meant to be open with each other. I don’t know if they were both sleeping together behind my back…yes I did with her, I had sex with her without my husband but I always told him about it.
Then I had another theory, maybe she had been sleeping with other people apart from us!
This was a big mess!
We sponsored her upkeep after she was fired from the school; antenatal hospital visits, delivery of the baby…then we did a DNA, she was our baby!
I can’t tell you how devastated I was. A child is another 21years investment. It was painful! Now my boy has a sister from another woman.
Are we going to stop doing this?
I don’t know.
We were kind of upset with each other, Dee blaming me for bringing Lee; Lee telling me I also had sex with her without Dee’s knowledge, I got the blame for everything…let’s just say we are cooling off for sometime…
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)