By Peju Akande
My wife was married for me; she was married for me by my younger brother who is well to do. Why did my brother marry a wife for me?
Oh well, first off, I am an old man; I was about 71years old then when my brother married Rose for me and the reason he did was because I had been bereaved of my first wife for more than 20 years before then. I was living in poor health…you know… though my younger brother took care of my medical bills and all but I was still living alone.
Now, Rose was a single woman who sold akara in our area. I knew she was having difficulty raising her children; one was learning to be a mechanic, another was helping her hawk pap and akara and the last born was just a rascal that played on the streets with bad boys.
I liked her akara, I mean Rose. She sold akara to me every Tuesday; she came to deliver to me one day while my brother was visiting and my brother began to ask if she could be cooking for me regularly, he said he would pay her.
Rose said yes and even joked that even if my brother wanted her to have sex with me, she would for a fee. We all laughed. I told her then that I wouldn’t mind…you know, jokingly.
That’s how we began; then one day, my brother proposed to her on my behalf. He told her he would take care of her children if she would marry me. He told her she didn’t have to worry about where the next meal would come from. The reason I think my brother did this was because he saw the rapport between Rose and me and he saw that I had improved since she began to cook for me.
Rose is 37 years younger than me! But na woman, woman can be young. Right?
My first wife died childless and since then, I have had no children…not that I didn’t have my share of women in the past years, I did, but not one stayed with me…yeah, I can be a difficult human being. I know. Very difficult.
Anyway, I became the ticket out of poverty for Rose and frankly at that time, I knew I had to be more tolerant of people if I didn’t want to die alone. I was often drunk, not an excuse for bad behavior, but that is mainly the reason women didn’t stay with me and they claimed I was abusive. I don’t know if I am, when you are drunk, you do many things you don’t remember.
Ok, so when Rose agreed to my brother’s proposal, my brother warned me to behave myself because if Rose left me on account of my attitude, he told me he would stop visiting me and giving me allowance every month.
Now, my brother not only married me a wife, he gave me a car and driver as well. All of these he funded from his own pocket! And let me also add that he sponsored Rose’s children, Favour, the eldest, my brother set her up to her own restaurant. You know I told you she helped Rose sell pap. Then there is Moses, Rose’s second child, when he finished his apprenticeship at the mecho village, it was my brother who set him up. Sadly we lost David the youngest, I think he was pickpocketing and ran across the express when police came…a car ran him down…this happened a few years after his mother married me.
Anyway. I have a driver, Kingsley. Stupid, useless, ingrate of a human being! He still drives me to date, what will I do to him?
Kingsley has been the one banging my wife!
He was the one banging Rose, write it down, say this is what I said! I don’t know why I can’t kick both of them out of my house!
That bastard cannot deny it; look at him, he is several years younger than Rose and every time they tell me they are going to the market or when they think I am asleep…when I get drunk, they are tearing each other to pieces with sex! I smell Kingsley on Rose all the time and the thing she tells me is that since they are mostly in the same place, he may be smelling on her!
Imagine that kind of talk from a married woman!
And this has been going on in the last 19 years!
Yes, 19 years because my first son, is Kingsley's child! Yes, those two idiots think I don’t know! In short, even the second born is Kingsley’s daughter. The two children that bear my name are carbon copies of Kingsley my driver!
I swear by the gods of my forefathers, they are Kinsley’s children, everybody on this street knows it! But you see, I love those children. They call me daddy and they love me.
In fact, even my brother sent these children to good schools because they bear my name. I know my brother knows these kids are not mine; because let’s be frank, how could I have fathered two children at 71 years going to 72, when I don’t even remember having sex with their mother?
More so, I couldn’t even father a child through my first wife. Did I not pound her enough? That woman took it all, morning, afternoon…I was jam blocker then! Strong and virile and ever ready for more action!
That woman took a lot of my poundings and yet didn’t have a pregnancy that lasted one minute. Meanwhile every time I want to descend on Rose, after two minutes she is complaining…baba my neck, baba my eye, baba my back…useless woman!
Why did I not send her away?
So that Kinsley can finally occupy her?
Over my dead body!
She will remain under my roof and continue to give me food and let me rest my head on her breasts and feel her warmth…yes, she will continue to perform her duties to me! And those children, I will continue to claim them.
Why am I claiming them?
Don’t you have sense?
They were born under my roof…so they are mine…I am raising them as mine, that is my vengeance against Kinsley! They will never bear his name! Till I go to my grave, I will ensure the children know only me as their father! And I am not even ready to go to any grave yet, I am only 86 years old, my father died at 102! Me, I will live long and show Rose and Kinsley say, I be baba!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)