My Life, My Agony
My name is Jane, I grew up in a rural area where self love and parental care was pivotal. I had the best experience of youthful age one can ever think of. I excelled in all my endeavors and was a child progeny. I was born not with a silver spoon but I did everything possible to see that those who will come after me in the family will live above the standards we saw ourselves.
At 12, I was already a professional in bead making and knitting. I made some funds for the family when mom and dad could not. I was loved by all and life was good.
Life became a living hell for me when I lost my mother. I was lost in grief and bitterness. I got attached to alcohol for consolation but it was for a short while. After my alcoholism , came agony again. My father does not pay attention to details so he did not notice the changes in my lifestyle. As the only child of the family, I was always alone at home whenever my father was out to work or other engagements.
At 21, I got married not really for the love of my husband or for the love of the union. I married because I needed a companion. I needed a friend and at least, a source of happiness. I have two kids, Francisca and Francis, my adorable twins. I love them with everything in me. My husband works with a construction company as cite supervisor. The job is time consuming. This makes it difficult for him to be at home with us at all time. Today he is in one location, tomorrow he is in the other.
Three years ago, I was diagnosed of Bipolar affective disorder, I got to see the other side of my husband. Domestic violence, wife battery and life threatening fight was the order of the day. Whenever my husband was in the house, he would make sure that he beats me to the point of fainting before he left me.
I talked to few friends but there was no help in sight because they felt I was/am mad or getting mad. The last beatings I received from my husband landed me in the hospital. I regained consciousness after two days on the hospital bed. I am now divorced, Francisca and Francis, my kids are with him. He did not allow me to take them with me after our divorce.
I am managing my life alone now. I am happy to be alone rather than be with a man who doesn't want me alive. I did not invite the Bipolar affective disorder to my life. I did not even cause it. My life is important to me. I value it. I want to be alive.
I hope one day I will see my children again. I love them so dearly.
Dearest Francisca and Francis, if you get to read this story, this is the story of our lives. I did not run away from you. I am barred from seeing you or being with you because I am sick. I love you immensely.