TALES FROM THE STREET
I woke up and found my manhood in my housegirl’s mouth!
When my wife brought in that girl to come and be our house girl, I knew there would be trouble. But you see, we needed her. We have two little boys aged five and two and my wife is pregnant again.
You see, my wife goes to the shop with me and once the children close from school and she goes to pick them up, they won’t let her handle shop things very well. She won’t be able to attend to customers, the boys would just be running all over the place and causing trouble.
As for me, I often travel to go and buy things for our shop, so many times, you won’t find me around and I could have taken some shop boys to assist my wife but I don’t trust these small, small boys that say they want to train under you.
If you leave them for too long, they will be the ones servicing your wife for you, so in a way, I was telling myself, maybe a house girl would be better than to have shop boys. In fact, if you have shop boys and your wife is not there, these boys will build houses on top of your sweat!
And one more thing, I wanted my wife to allow my mother come from home to come and help us with the children but this woman refused. She totally refused. She said mama would be giving her wahala and that she wanted to have a house help who would sweep and take care of the house and the children as well. My mother will not sweep but my mother is still young. She is not even up to 60 years old yet and she is just alone at home, she would at least be able to take care of the children.
Anyway, one time, I travelled to Senegal to buy some materials for our shop and when I came home i met a new girl in the house. The house help my wife got in my absence.
When she opened the door for me, my children ran to me, shouting, “daddy, daddy, daddy.”
The girl realizing who I was, quickly greeted me and was all over me like…
I said, “Come first, who are you?”
She said, “I am Comfort, sir.”
I asked her, “Where is my wife?”
She said, “Aunty has gone out with her friend.”
Comfort is dark and plump and has a very big bakassi!
I just told myself, some women are idiots, why would my wife engage this one as a house help?
Small time, Comfort came to knock on our bedroom door where I was trying to remove my clothes and you know, take a bath…
She knocked, “kpoi, kpoi” and then her voice floated over.
“Uncle, uncle, should I boil water for your bath? NEPA has taken light so heater will not work?
I said, “…not to worry, I can use the cold shower.” She didn’t leave o.
I mean, she was asking me about my journey, asking me if I wanted water to drink, asking me if she should boil yam to pound for me…I said, “Comfort, when I need you, I will call you.”
Comfort brought water, she brought food, she was shaking every part of her body like…
I called my wife, “Where are you? Didn’t you know I was returning today?”
I didn’t know my wife had been taken to the hospital but it was not even her EDD yet, her expected date of delivery, so I just picked my keys and went straight to the hospital. Her friend said she brought my wife because when she came to her place, she started complaining of pains.
They did tests, they said it was “threatened abortion.” She was in the hospital for a few days.
I was going from home to shop to hospital for a almost two weeks and Comfort was just very helpful…
My wife was discharged after almost two weeks. After that period, my wife couldn’t do much because we didn’t want to lose the baby. We didn’t even talk about me not being comfortable with Comfort because, see, if Comfort hadn’t been around, I wouldn’t have been able to cope with my wife being sick and my two boys.
Comfort, to my mind, used that opportunity to wear every skimpy dress she had; my wife wasn’t herself, so she wouldn’t even have noticed.
You know…as a man…I came back from travel, nothing, got home, wife is too sick to even see me, I was doing everything up and down, shop, wife, children…and Comfort was just there shaking all the shakables.
I was home one Sunday. My wife was in the room sleeping, my kids were watching cartoon in the sitting room. I just went to the guest room, to sleep so I won’t disturb my wife…that’s when Comfort came to me.
I swear! Don’t underestimate the girls you see nowadays; I don’t know if the girl has marine spirit!
It was as if I was in a trance. I was half asleep half awake when I noticed Comfort had come to me in that room naked!
She said she was looking for something, I don’t know what it was. Before I knew it, Comfort was on the bed with me…before I knew it… me, I was in my boxers…so but I didn’t know how it came off!
Ok, it sounds funny or strange. I admit I had been looking at her but I did not invite her to that room and I did not ask her to remove her wrapper or even my boxers!
I was still asking myself, is this a dream?
Then, suddenly I felt her putting my pingolo into her mouth.
I was struggling, was she real or maybe this was a dream…
That was the moment my wife walked in on us…
I tried to tell my wife that Comfort was only holding my penis, I wasn’t even cooperating with her. And I had no intention of doing anything with her because I think Comfort has mamiwater spirit…
But you know women, my wife didn’t believe me, she was just shouting at me, abusing me and she stripped herself naked and cursed me!
What kind of woman does that? You find your husband with a common househelp, you strip your self naked and begin to curse the man, what of the girl that came naked to you?
All of us were naked in that room that day, looking surprised!
Till today, I still don’t know how she got hold of my thing and put it in her mouth when I wasn’t even cooperating with her. I was the one who quickly came to his senses and I begged my wife back to our room and Comfort packed her things that day!
Yes, we sent Comfort away, her spirit is bad!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)